Chapped Lips

If you Google "Sexy Lips" in their image search, the picture on the left is the first thing that comes up. I love Google image search. Love it.
Anyways, my lips aren't all that sexy right now since I spent most of Sunday freezing in a field unintentionally inhaling exhaust fumes. Now, most people would consider this to be the perfect opportunity to apply some chap-stick, but I am not a chap-stick kind of guy.
First of all, chap-stick is addicting, and I do my best to avoid using or consuming anything that I can become physically or mentally dependent on. I've seen people since grade school require the application of chap-stick a minimum 5 times a day, or maybe they we're just trying to draw my attention to their lips for a snogging session. (Snogging? What am I, like a 13 year old girl or a fabulously gay man?)
Secondly, I could just never find a chap-stick that didn't feel oily. I kind of like my lips to have a little bit of strength to them. I'm a guy! It is just like...well...I can't think of anything but lets just say that having a vulnerable piece of flesh attached to my face is not my preference. Wow. That sounded gross.
Finally, chap-stick to me is like cigarettes. If you don't start, you'll save a lot of money long term and you won't miss it anyways. Granted, chap-stick isn't exactly a health hazard, but I think the comparison is applicable. How dare you market your chap-stick to little girls, Mary Kate and Ashley! Anorexic Prostitutes!