How to Deal with Cheap Customers

I was at a race this weekend representing the company I work for, and we are lucky enough to have a fairly sizeable trailer that we use to haul product for racers and also vend aformentioned product and other promotional items out of to the spectators in attendance. It was a heavily attended race, but not very many people were interested in buying anything from us while we were there. It is common at these races for companies to hand out free items, and we usually satisfy that demand by giving away free stickers, which we were doing this weekend.
By late afternoon Saturday I had gotten sick of people asking for free hats from us, which they expected since another company was giving out a slew of free goodies to anyone that asked. Finally, this transaction took place. I'm writing it in script form so you can follow it better. (Note: Apparently in Canada knit winter hats are called "tubes." Is this correct, Canadian audience member?)

Annoying Customer: How much are your tubes?

Clear Thinker: $10

Annoying Customer: How much are your stickers?

Clear Thinker: Those are free.

Annoying Customer: I'll take some of those then!

Clear Thinker: You cheap bastard!

Annoying Customers reaches into back pocket, pulls out wallet and hands Clear Thinker $10.

Annoying Customer: I'll take one then!

Clear Thinker: Thanks!

Exchange takes place, Annoying Customer exit stage left.

Clear Thinker: Did I just insult someone into buying something? Awesome!

THE END

So yes, I actually insulted someone into purchasing something from me, and I couldn't feel better about it. Having worked in retail for several years before my current position, I feel like I stuck it to annoying customers everywhere as a small act of vengeance for cashiers, floor salespeople, and servers everywhere. Viva La Resistance!

P.S. Dalene has nothing to do with this post, it was just easier than looking for a picture that fit this story. More on blonde playmates vs. non-blonde playmates tomorrow!