Not-So-Secret Crush

I have this major crush on Toni Braxton. Don't ask me why. Ever since that song "Your Making Me High" (was that the name?) I've just thought she was awesome.
But, I don't hide this fact from my wife, I embrace it! I would say she finds a significant amount of humor in it.
Now, the reason she finds it funny is because there is no way in god's earth that I will ever even meet Toni Braxton, let alone catch her eye. Therefore: the crush is funny and acceptable.
She has a crush on Jake Gyllenhal. Equally humorous.
Now, if we had crushes on people in our daily lives, this would be bad. So we don't.
Lesson: Celebrity crush okay, real people crush bad.
Now, if I was a celebrity that would change everything...